Fortune Telling

I went to the Pasar Malam in the MECC today with Gwen and Lino, and there was a medium at one of the stands. I wasn’t planning to have my fortune read at first, but after hearing what she had to say about Gwen, my interest was piqued, to say the least, since she got so many things right.

The first thing she said to me was that I was the only one who really knew myself, and that no one else did. At first I thought that was just a general remark, but then she said that I am very closed toward other people, and that was before she even read any of the cards.

None of that was too shocking of course, but she went on in no uncertain terms. She said that I was someone who was very sure of myself. I know exactly what I want… as long as I’m alone. As soon as there are other people involved, I start to get very insecure. I have this huge barrier (she referred to it as a mountain) between myself and other people, which is something I already had built up since I was six. I almost never show my feelings to others, even though I am an extremely sensitive person, because I am so afraid of loss. That’s definitely true. I’ve always felt that the more you feel emotionally attached to others, the more you have to lose.

One of the funniest (though not in the haha way) things she mentioned was how people would take advantage of me when I was younger. That’s certainly what I used to think, that some people took advantage of me because I was way too shy to say or do anything about it. But that is something I would not let happen anymore, since I’d stand up for myself nowadays. I think it’s something I learned throughout the years, but it’s nice to have some sort of confirmation.

I also had to take care of my health, since I am inclined to feel tired the last couple of months. I do feel exhausted very often lately, though I have absolutely no idea why. But it’s something to keep an eye on.

She went on to mention my career. She said that I was contemplating a move toward something better (see this post), and that I can do so much better than my current position. I just have to rely on my self-confidence (the red thread throughout the whole story), which apparently I have in abundance. She also mentioned that I was thinking about having my own business, because I’m terrible at taking orders. I’m not sure about that one. Sure, I have thought about it once or twice before, but never in a concrete way.

I thought it was pretty bizarre when I drew the “Overseas” card. This is something I’ve never even mentioned to anyone else, but since I’ve been to the US, I’ve been thinking a lot about how it would be like to live there, if only for a couple of years. She did mention that it wasn’t the right time yet, but I kind of figured that out for myself already.

The strangest thing she said was that I had a very strong intuition, almost predictive even. Things I feel often have a tendency to come true. I don’t really notice it myself yet, she said, but once I do, I'm in for a shock. There’s no such thing as coincidence, she said. I honestly don't know what to think about this.

The last two cards I had to draw were more or less “answer” cards. The first card said that “I was ready for it”; while the second card said that “there were no guarantees”. But what is “it”? Does it mean the next step in my career (which coincidentally is also what my horoscope says)? Or maybe it just means that I’m ready for a relationship, but since there are no guarantees, I should just stop focusing on that. Or it could mean something entirely different in my life. I wished the cards were clearer in their answers.

In the end, it was a pretty positive story. The main conclusion was that I someone with a lot of confidence, though not around other people. As long as I learn to rely on that confidence, I would be able to achieve a lot, and I’ll even be able to break through my emotional barriers.