Why do I like to write? It’s a question I regularly ask myself, and to be honest, I haven’t been able to form a definitive answer yet.

But perhaps I should ask myself a different question first, one that is more relevant, one that will touch much closer upon the core. Do I even still like to write? And might the fact that I deliberately avoided the phrase “love to write” and instead chose to use “like to write” already be part of the answer? Maybe the passion that I once felt just isn’t there anymore. Or even worse, maybe I’ve lost that passion a long time ago, and that I’ve been lying to myself.

Either way, I’m afraid of the answer. If the answer is yes, then what does that make me? Someone who is too much of a coward to chase after his dreams? If the answer is no, then what does that leave me with? I thought for such a long time that writing is my passion that it would leave a huge empty space in my soul if I’d ever decide to abandon it, despite all the other things going well in my life. It’s probably the closest thing I have to a dream, and everyone needs dreams.

The truth is that I haven’t done any serious writing for months already. One of the main goals for starting this blog was the hope that it would help me in stimulating me to write more often. A goal which I completely and utterly failed to accomplish. The first few months were still ok, I think. But lately I’ve basically been neglecting it, and I even did it consciously more often not.

Whether what I wrote is any good at all is something I will ultimately leave to others to judge. I do think there are some good posts here and there, but in general I think that most of it is pretty meaningless, which was something I was hoping to avoid. But that is all beside the issue at the moment. It doesn’t matter if my writing is the most rotten, stinky pile of garbage in the history of the written word, what matters is that I simply need to keep writing if I’m truly passionate about it.

Of course, I still need to answer that second question. Do I even still like to write? But then again, I am pretty good in convincing myself that I hate to do something, when in reality it’s because I’m too afraid to actually go do it. So maybe I shouldn’t even go anywhere near that question. Maybe I should just leave it for the time being. Time will probably tell what the real answer is.