An Open Letter to Myself

Dear me,

You have been with me for as long as I can remember. You were always there with me, I could always feel your dark presence. Even in my happiest moments, you were there, lingering within my mind. You were always there with your whisperings, ready to drag me down, ready to beat me back into submission. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Ha! How much I wish that was true!

But you know what?
I am tired of being dragged down because of you.
I am tired of being afraid all the time because of you.
I am tired of making excuses for myself because of you.
And I am tired of not being able to lead life to the fullest because of you.

You have dominated my life long enough. Despite your constant incessant whisperings, I still believe that there is hope. I still believe because I have seen her with my own eyes. And I still believe because I have felt her in my own heart. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, my own heart will always be mine and never fully yours. You see, if that hope is snatched away by the very person I'm hoping for, I will eventually learn to live with that, no matter how much it hurts. But I refuse to have that hope be snatched away by you, before it even have had the chance to be nurtured and to develop into something more.

I realize now that I will never get rid of you and that you'll always be a part of me. So be it. There will be days when you will have the upper hand, when I feel I am defeated. But as long as there is hope, you cannot keep me down forever. I sincerely hope that one day we can be friends, that we can work together towards a common goal. But until then, we will have to find a way to co-exist together.


Sincerely mine,
Daniel