YPF Jazz Piano Concours

I attended the YPF Jazz Piano Concours (semi finals) last Saturday. One thing that struck me about the performances was how easily classical music often flows ino jazz music and vice versa. Another thing was the obligatory piece (Con Alma), I thought it was pretty cool how each candidate was able give it a totally different feel and experience to the same piece of music, especially considering that the original was played on trombone. In general, each of the six candidates had a very distinct style, and were able to convert existing works to suit their won styles. This is my first true experience with this kind of music, but I really enjoyed it. I really should start attending these cultural things more often.

Well, I'm no expert, but here's my impression of each of the 6 candidates:

Andrea Taeggi

The most experimental of the bunch. He makes some use of uncommon sounds and instruments, and throws in some weird combinations in his pieces. It was pretty good, but I'm not a big fan of experimental music.

Sandro Savino

Probably the one with the largest ego (typically Italian I would say), but a good showman. He brings a lot of enthusiasm in his music, so naturally he generated quite some applause from the audience. He especially had a lot of fun playing In Walked Bud (his version is much more dynamic than in the Youtube clip, and he added a beat which he repeated over and over again, but it was extremely catchy), and that enthusiaism just carried over to the crowd. Not the best in technique and innovation perhaps, but very enjoyable nonetheless.

Jean-François Blanchard

His music sounds more romantic than the others. Perhaps not surprisingly, seeing he's from France. As a result, his music is somewhat more slower and dreamier than the others (which I like), although he did show off more of his skills towards the end.

Anne Guus Teerhuis

At this point of the competition (especially right after the break), my mind started to drift off, so I found it hard to judge him. His own piece was called "Professor Chaos", which does suit his style. I think his style does need some getting used to, but I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about his performance. Bu then again, what do I know, since he did win the competition in the end. I think the judges were also looking for innovation, and he definitely had that more than the other candidates.

Evgeny Sivtsov

Technically brilliant, which he didn't hesitate to show. His demeanor was somewhat more subdued than the others though, and to me the music seemed to lack some passion the others have. Still, I couldn't help but be impressed with his skills.

Sri Hanuraga

Well, save the best for last, I guess. And judging by the response of the audience, I wasn't the only one who had him as my favorite. Very skilled and very enthusiastic player. But what really won the crowd over was his inclusion of more modern elements. His interpretation of Allegro Barbaro especially was a huge hit with the audience. With the inclusion of some heavy drum work along with some bombastic play on the piano, the whole piece turned into a hybrid of classical music and rock and roll. The drummer even got to perform a mini solo towards the end (which may be a bit over the top, seeing that this is first and foremost a piano competition).

Well, after I wrote the last post, it did make me feel a bit better. I guess I just needed it to get rid of the negative energy inside. I still find it strange though that it's apparently easier for me to do it this way than for example just having a talk with a friend or family member.

Every time this year, I'm reminded again how much I really hate the holiday season. When Christmas and the new year come along, somehow this whole affection (for lack of a better word) thing become even more important than usual, which in turn makes me even more self-conscious than usual. Despite all the progress I made in the last couple of years, deep down inside, I'm still the same shy, awkward kid I used to be.

In previous years, I've always managed to tough it out, even sending out text messages and making phone calls while actually showing my face around the family. For some reason, I was not able to do that this year. All I wanted was to shy away from other people and hide in my apartment. Maybe I just feel empty after the last couple of months. I like to believe that the move to Amsterdam and the increased pressure and workload at work (sometimes coupled with an increasing sense of helplessness) doesn't really affect me at all, but to be honest, it does. It's an exaggeration to say that the reporting at Vodafone would have collapsed without me, but sometimes I wonder how the situation would have been if I had left the company. On the other hand, I made the decision to stay knowing fully that things would be extremely frustrating for the coming year, which in retrospect might even be too optimistic. Still, I've been struggling to regain the joy and motivation I used to have at work. I just need to stay aware of what we are trying to achieve within our team and within our department. That in itself should be a huge source of motivation. I have to remember: baby steps…

At least, I hope the way I feel now can be as easily explained as that. Lately I've been thinking a lot about myself again. In some ways, I don't feel like a normal person at all. Is it because I hit the big 3-0 in November? I don't really feel any different than before, but it might be a factor subconsciously. I guess at some point, you seriously start to question the things you've done or haven't done, which in my case is mostly in the "haven't done" department. Is it normal that I've never had a relationship in my life? Is it normal that I'm still a virgin? Is it normal I've never kissed anyone before? For that matter, it is normal that I've never even touched anyone before in an affectionate way (or vice versa)? Is it normal that I am utterly incapable of showing any affection whatsoever? And I know the apathetic way I behave is not always fair towards my family and friends, but how to get over the hump? These are questions I've been mulling over and over again in my head…

In the past, I always believed that these are things I would develop as I get older, though it may take me much longer than others. But now, I'm starting to reach a point where it all just seems hopeless. Which of course, sometimes results in an extreme case of "I don't care" mentality. Sometimes I really do wish I didn't care at all, which would make things so much easier.

On the other hand, deep down inside I'm glad that I actually do care. Sometimes, that's the only proof I have that I'm not entirely without emotions…